To remain indifferent to the challenges we face is indefensible. If the goal is noble, whether or not it is realized within our lifetime is largely irrelevant. What we must do therefore is to strive and persevere and never give up. -Dalai Lama
This month (July 2017) will go down as one of the darkest periods of my life and serve as evidence of my expert level at handing problems that would utterly bury some people. It started when I sought to do the “right thing” for a change and reported my address change to the AZ MVD and received a new Driver’s Licence with my current address on it. Great right? Not so great as it appeared to kick off a national DMV records check and Arizona picked up my eight traffic warrants (speeding tickets) in CA and they “canceled” my AZ driver’s license until I get clearance from CA MVD. So until I surrender myself to CA authorities, appear on and settle these outstanding cases I am not legal to drive. That set off a chain of events, insurance got cancelled and nobody would write a new policy then the credit union put their own insurance on the car protecting their interests but not mine at the cost of $3,000/yr and tacked that onto my principal balance of my loan so I owe 21k on a 2010 model with 135,000 mi on it worth maybe half of that. The new house while great was anything but energy efficient and my electric bill shot up to over $600 a month and the old AC unit still wasn’t keeping the house bearable. Now when I moved over here and signed the lease I had a client on contract at 15k a month coming in. After a 4-month history of him paying at that rate like clockwork, he decides it’s too much and cuts it down to 5k a mo with no advance warning. Me being the shithead that I am put all my eggs in one basket so this was my only currently paying client so I had no choice but to accept the 2/3rds pay cut just to survive. My family trust was decimated by the Eastman Kodak bankruptcy which devalued all our stock down to zero, cut my mother’s retirement and medical benefits down to zero as well, and mom also needed to upgrade her level of care to a memory care facility due to her advancing dementia meant that I would no longer be able to draw 1k a week out of the trust as I have been doing for years. Then as if to add insult to injury, my only client stopped taking calls and pushed me off to his “assistant” and started paying me up to three weeks late even at the reduced rate which set off a whole other chain of events like being late on rent and paying a $20 a day late fee x 21 days, getting my power and gas disconnected and the car repossessed by the credit union…..things just kept spiraling out of control and I am writing this post officially homeless with no car in the dead heat of summer in the desert.
That’s where I’m at…at almost 59 years old…sucks! But while I was talking to my oldest brother Chuck the other day reluctantly telling him about the spot I’m in a lightbulb lit up over my pointy little head that said…”You ate your dessert first and now you’re paying the price motherfucker!” The voice was right, I have no one or nothing to blame but myself for my current state of affairs. All those hookers, drugs, casinos, fast cars and loose women for the past 40 years just dropped the bill at your feet and it’s payback time bitch! What a harsh realization but accurate. I did eat my dessert in life first. Thinking about it this way is, I think, the only honest way to see things. Those of you who know me and my lifestyle up until now must surely agree, right?
“The truth is not always beautiful, nor beautiful words the truth.”
― Lao Tzu,