Monday is New Year’s Eve and the new year will see me moving from Rancho Palos Verdes, CA to Las Vegas, NV, the place I’ve always felt pulling me but I’ve feared as a highly likely place of my final demise from my tendency to embrace life on the outside edge of the rails at high speeds. I say WTF and what doesn’t kill ya makes ya stronger and I can think of no place else which will challenge me to the max and can be my biggest challenge to concur yet so it’s on come Tuesday!
The past 24 hrs has proven to myself that I’ve truly reached new depths of self degradation as the blur of negative behaviors and associated is like a cacophony of depravity with many old and new characters whom only serve to reflect their own inner pain into mine which doesn’t need any assistance at this point. I visited a deadly and lascivious old succubus drug of choice from the past today as I bought myself some grave site bouquets and used them in a back alley room with all light sources card boarded out with a veteran soldier of Ollie North’s gift to the ghettos of our land….once the biggest of them all now only a shell of it’s former glory much as those left still using it….was a trip down bad memory lane and actually served to only reconfirm that even after a decade or so of dormancy the gorilla’s been back there doing push ups all along.
Visited with a new positive and understanding friend who fed me and listened and cared what I had to say which was pure heaven and proof there there is yet hope for a new life so thanks to the tuna wielding bright spot of the day….can’t promise anything other than continued mutual admiration at this juncture but you , the critters and meal preparation reviews were all very positive and appreciated.
There have been several people in my lifetime that upon meeting them for the first time that have recoiled in fear for no apparent reason and I’ve always just blown it off. Then a few years ago when I was stranded with a broken down car in the middle of New Mexico and old native american woman sat down on a curb and spoke to me as I was washing blood off my grill (jackrabbit) which was a sinister looking black Chrysler 300 with limo tint windows and rims that looked like saw blades that also had two very real bullet holes in the rear quarter panel….I was on the run. Anyway, she walked up to me and greeted me with a pleasant manor and called me a “Dibbick” which I have researched as follows:
Dybbuks are said to have escaped from Sheol or to have been turned away for serious transgressions, such as suicide, for which the soul is denied entry. The word “dybbuk” is derived from the Hebrew דיבוק, meaning “attachment”; the dybbuk attaches itself to the body of a living person and inhabits the flesh. According to belief, a soul that has been unable to fulfill its function during its lifetime is given another opportunity to do so in dybbuk form. It supposedly leaves the host body once it has accomplished its goal, sometimes after being helped.
I don’t know but when I’m bad, it’s as if I am someone else….